I made a good start yesterday but today turned out to be one of those worst days for me. The Doctor did tell me I will have mood swings, depression and will get irritated easily at minor things. But I didn't think it would be so early as this.
Before I go on to my gratitude activity for today - The Magic Rock - let me tell you about what happen and why I don't want that to happen again.
I got up this morning fine and did 30 minutes of exercise from 7:00 - 7:30, walking up and down the 16 stairs at home. I had warm bath after that and was about to rest and begin my gratitude lessons at 8:00 a.m when I was told the driver came to take the girls to the market. He was told to come at 9:30 a.m. I sent him away. Then he calls at 9:00 a.m and advised that he will not come because he was going to play soccer. I told him to come leave the vehicle at home so I will get someone else to help me. He did. The church bus came at 9:30 to help. My girls were not ready and showed disrespect for them. I called many times which the girls did not move, making me loose my patience and temper. Cecelia and Jesticka left in the church bus. Since my mood wasn't right, I told Lydia to stay out while I cool down in the room. Instead, she kept banging and slamming the door, screaming and demanding me to open the door so she could get her comb. I lost it and hit her with the cord of the laptop charger and calculator. I felt so bad after that - for loosing my temper.
I feel that my siblings do not have any respect for me. They do not respect people even my friends who help me. They have such arrogant attitudes that when I try to correct them, they scream and yell back at me, especially Lydia. I am the family's bread winner and I have labored so much to put food on the table for everyone, yet continuous disrespect from my own daughter kills my spirit. During such times, she utters words like she will go and stay with her father who has deserted her when she was only 9 years old and I have to raise her to 17. This cuts my heart to pieces because I feel she is only using me. I apologized to her for spanking her. I FORGIVE my siblings for what they did to me today. I see that My Journey of Gratitude is on rough seas and must do something immediately to be on course.
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Today's Gratitude Activity - The Magic Rock
Today's magic practice says that I find a small rock that I can hold in the palm of my hand and close my fingers around it. The rock must be smooth and without sharp edges. I am to put this magic rock beside my bedside, a place where I can see it clearly before I go to bed.
Tonight, before I go to bed to sleep, I will pick up the magic rock, hold it in the palm of one hand and close my fingers around it. I will think back carefully through all the good things that happened during the day, and find the best thing that happened and I'm grateful for. Then I will say the magic words "thank you" for the best thing that happened. Return the Magic Rock to its place and that's it.
Every night for the next 26 nights, I will repeat the same Magic Rock practice. Feel truly grateful for what happened during the day.
Before this Magic Practice No. 2, I am suppose to start the day by Counting My Blessings from Day 1. Make a list of 10 blessings, why I'm grateful for them and read the list. At the end of each blessing, I must say thank you, thank you, thank you!
1. I am truly blessed with the gift of life because I woke up alive this morning. (thank you, thank you, thank you).
2. I am truly blessed to have a beautiful daughter because despite her rebellion, she is still a beautiful girl with a beautiful heart (thank you, thank you, thank you).
3. I am truly blessed and grateful that the power of God healeth me (thank you, thank you, thank you)
4. I am truly blessed for my garden - the watermelons, the tomatoes, the pawpaws and flowers - growing so well and bearing fruit. (thank you, thank you, thank you)
5. I am truly blessed to breathe in fresh air to nourish oxygen in my blood and sustain my physical body (thank you, thank you, thank you)
6. I am truly blessed for the mango trees outside the house and the birds that live there and sing beautiful melodies every morning, reminding me of God's grace (thank you, thank you, thank you)
7. I am truly blessed that God's grace and mercy never fails because I am able to apologise to my daughter (thank you, thank you, thank you)
8. I am truly blessed to have money that I can buy food to sustain my family. (thank you, thank you, thank you)
9. I am truly blessed to have an abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables that I can have to provide nourishment to the body (thank you, thank you, thank you)
10. I am blessed to have friends who help me through thick and thin, even putting up with my moods. (thank you, thank you, thank you)
Gratefully yours,
Kejanny
Gratefully yours,
Kejanny