Dear Gratitude,
Today is Easter Sunday, 31 March 2013. When I woke up this morning, I read the four Gospels of Mathew, Mark, Luke and John that recorded the Resurrection of my Lord and Saviour Yeshua. Before that around 1:00 a.m, I got up to pray, thanking God for saving me from sin, satan and death by sending Yeshua to redeem us and restoring the Holy Spirit back to mankind. The power that healed and raised Yeshua from the dead can also raise us up from whatever situation and circumstances we may be in. For with God, nothing in impossible.
I realize that in times past, I used to be a grateful person. But somewhere along the journey of life, life's problems and cares made me an ungrateful person. There was a turning point in my life that made me realize how ungrateful I am and I've made up my mind to spend the next 28 days seeking you.
On the night of 21 March 2013, I had very sharp pain in my stomach so my daughter took me to the hospital. The Doctor on duty gave me some medication and told me to go see another doctor the following day. When I saw Gynaecologist Dr Mahlon Paiva that next day, he told me I had twisted ovarian cyst that was 7 c.m and multiple uterine fibroids that needed urgent surgery for removal. The surgery took place around 3:00 p.m.
The pain of these cysts and tumors are unbearable. Words can't explain. I felt I was simply going to close my eyes and die at each intervals the pain would tear me apart. There was one thing that I didn't do each time I'm torn apart by the pain is to say the magic words "thank you". The more I nursed the pain, the more it came. I am a believer but during that time, my mind was so clouded I did not know where to begin and how to pray.
The doctor later told me that as he was doing the hysterectomy, the ovarian cyst burst. He removed my remaining ovary and uterus. After 5 days at the Paradise Private Hospital in Port Moresby, I got discharged. I felt so lost and empty when I arrived home.
The more I read about the disadvantages of hysterectomy and premature menopause, the more depressed I got. I read on internet sources that depression is one the symptoms of menopause. The difference is that mine is not a normal menopause. I am 38 years of age and is a premature menopause. Because my ovaries have been removed, my body will no longer produce female hormones called estrogen and prestrogen. Lack of these hormones will cause problems such as hot flushes, mood swings, depression, etc, etc.
It is really depressing reading about all the symptoms and problems of menopause. But dwelling on that will not help me. I can not cry over spilled milk nor blame someone else for this. I must accept my condition and situation and be grateful. Grateful? Yes, grateful. Grateful that I still got a life to live.
I have therefore decided to go on a 28 days journey of gratitude with Rhonda Byrne (The Magic). This will be my new journey in life.
Gratefully yours,
Kejanny